Dear Uncle Griff and Dear Aunt Flossie

The following information is provided to educate and inform. eBay™ and its employees are not liable or responsible for any type of damage or loss caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly, by the information below.

eBay's kindly old Uncle Griff has agreed to answer questions for some of our members. If you have a question you would like to ask him, email him at unclgrff@ebay.com. NOTE: Not one to be left out of anything, Uncle Griff's mother, Aunt Flossie, loves to meddle in her son's business. Aunt Flossie offers "helpful" replies to questions also (email her at unclgrff@ebay.com).

Dear Uncle Griff,

Some moron didn't pay me, so I gave him a negative feedback, but now I am worried that he will tarnish my record and give me one in return—just to retaliate. Please don't let people leave retaliatory feedback. It messes up us dedicated people.

Bob

Hello Bob,

Feedback is always a hot topic of discussion at eBay and will probably always be so. The fear of retaliation is the biggest concern when feedback is discussed and wanting to maintain a blemish-free feedback history is an understandable goal. However, please consider the intended purpose of feedback.

First, feedback was not intended to be a beauty contest. eBay provides the Feedback Forum as a completely open and fully disclosed site for users to leave comments regarding their experience with other users. In order for the Feedback Forum to be used effectively and as intended, all eBay users must always remember to use it. This means checking the feedback for every eBay user before entering into a transaction with him or her. It also means leaving appropriate feedback for each transaction conducted. Additionally, users must learn to read and parse left comments carefully, taking the possibility of undeserved comments into consideration.

Many users ask, "I was the party in the right when I left this person a negative and this person then left me an undeserved negative response. You must prevent this!" (Uncle paraphrases. Usually the language is much more colorful.) We understand a user's concern but, in the interest of fairness, we simply cannot "bar" a high bidder or seller from leaving a "retaliatory" negative comment in response to one left for them, whether or not it was deserved.

Consider this: What if the high bidder had left you a negative comment first? As high bidder, this person would have the right to do so. Would you accept a policy that prevented you from responding in kind? In any dispute between two people, fairness demands that both parties be given the opportunity to state their case. The jury (other eBay users) must judge for themselves who was the aggrieved party and who was the offender.

Most users take into account a bidder's or seller's complete feedback history when sizing up that person. A user who is conscientious, helpful and honest will always have many more positive comments than a user who is less than honorable. A majority of good comments will overshadow the few obvious response negative feedbacks. However, if good, honest users do not leave negative feedback out of fear of receiving a negative in return, then by their inaction, they are essentially letting the bad guys win.

Savvy eBay users understand that honest users will acquire a few "battle scars" when leaving an accurate and deserved feedback comment for a transaction gone bad. Other users do refer to a user's feedback history when determining whether or not to enter into an eBay transaction with that user and they use the sum total of a user's feedback when sizing up that seller or bidder's character. It is important that every user make their voice heard by leaving a comment, positive or negative, for all other users with whom they have transacted eBay business. To not do so does a disservice to the rest of the community of eBay users.

Regards, Uncle Griff

Hello,

It's a pleasure to be able to have this type of a forum to get some info to others. My concern is, lately, I have had buyers send me cash. Now, everyone loves cash, we all know that. But this week alone, I have had four buyers send it, and that is not a good thing to do. The Post Office handles a lot of mail and they don't REALLY lose a lot, but it does happen. If one of these envelopes is lost or stolen, the buyer will never believe the seller didn't receive it. It may be a good idea to let the buyers know that if they have to send cash, get a delivery confirmation. This will protect both the buyer and the seller. Thanks, guys, for being there.

Trula

Hello Trula,

The pleasure is mutual.

We do hear of folks sending cash for payment. In fact, sometimes sellers send us cash to apply against their bills. This is never advisable. For one thing, it is against postal regulations to send cash through the mail. As a practical matter, it is extremely foolish to do so since cash is not traceable. The recipient can claim that the cash never arrived and the sender would have no recourse whatsoever. This is true regardless of if the sender requests confirmation of delivery.

So the upshot? Never, ever send cash through the mail. Ever. Ut! No exceptions...listen to Uncle!

Regards, Uncle Griff

Dear Aunt Flossie,

I just bought a kimono on eBay that I plan on wearing to a traditional Japanese tea ceremony. The problem is, I don't know how to wear it. Got any advice for me?

Tea Lover

Hello Honorable Tea Lover,

Kimono-long to the Japan Board! On this Board, you can get advice from other eBay users about everything from Japanese fashions to mailing internationally. You can even post your message in Japanese!

Sayonara, Aunt Flossie