Dear Uncle Griff and Dear Aunt Flossie

The following information is provided to educate and inform. eBay^TM and its employees are not liable or responsible for any type of damage or loss caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly, by the information below.

eBay's kindly old Uncle Griff has agreed to answer questions for some of our members. If you have a question you would like to ask him, email him at unclgrff@ebay.com. NOTE: Not one to be left out of anything, Uncle Griff's mother, Aunt Flossie, loves to meddle in her son's business. Aunt Flossie offers "helpful" replies to questions also (email her at unclgrff@ebay.com).

Dear Uncle Griff,

Recently I won an auction, and just a few minutes after it closed, I received an email from the second highest bidder saying he had been reduced to tears by losing, and begged me to sell the item to him. As it happens, I really want to keep this item so I politely declined. This person then offered me ten times what I paid for the item. I declined again. My question is, how many times do I have to say "no" to this somewhat depressing question before I can just drop the emails in the bit bucket?

-- Not A Crybaby

Hello Not A Crybaby,

Sorry, Uncle is wiping the tears from his weary old eyes with his lace handkerchief. Is it because your tale has touched him deeply? No, not at all - it's because Uncle is full of woe that no one has ever offered HIM ten times what he paid for an item at eBay. Had someone done so, Uncle would have hollered "sold!" faster than you could snipe a Furby.

What good fortune you have, you lucky, tearless one! You snagged an item that is worth ten times what you paid (at least to this poor wretch) AND you get to rub it in by not selling it to him no matter how many times he pleads "please."

Uncle gives you permission to continue saying "no" for as many times as it gives you pleasure to do so. Once the fun has worn off, you can stop acknowledging the email.

Regards, Uncle Griff

Dear Uncle Griff,

Do you have any input on how the IRS defines eBay transactions? I buy and sell as a hobby, but don't want my sales viewed as income. Any thoughts? Thanks.

-- Chinacat

Hello Chinacat,

Without getting into the nitty gritty (Uncle is not a CPA after all), Uncle would think that the IRS would view any income you make at eBay as ... well ... income, and that would include sales of items at eBay. Why not contact the IRS yourself and ask them for details? Call from a pay phone and disguise your voice with a thick piece of terrycloth.

Regards, Uncle Griff

Hi Uncle Griff,

I was wondering if you could give us some tax advice? I have been selling on eBay for almost a year and have no idea what to do with my taxes! Any suggestions? Thanks! :-)

-- Todd

Hello Todd,

Pay them.

Regards, Uncle Griff

Hello Uncle Griff,

Why don't they allow you to sell live animals, like worms? Just wondering.

-- Linda

Hello Linda,

Although selling live animals (like worms) at auction is not in and of itself illegal, the majority sentiment among the eBay Community is that it is cruel to send an unsuspecting little puppy or guppy or rattlesnake through the mail to a home that may not be, shall we say, "ideal" for their upbringing. Animals can get hurt in transit and no one can guarantee that the poor little thing will arrive in one piece. Thus, in order to prevent cruelty to animals, unintentional or deliberate, we prohibit the sale of them at eBay.

Regards, Uncle Griff

Dear Uncle Griff,

What is the best time of day to end an auction (including time zone)? What is the best day to end an auction?

Your eBay pal, Mummy Kitty

Hello Mummy,

Good questions. I would say that the best time of day to end an auction is anytime after midnight. No, really. If you have something for auction that more than one person really covets, it almost doesn't matter when you sell it. It will bring what it should. Some sellers think that they do best during the evenings, but others think that the excess prime time Internet traffic often makes it harder for bidders to bid in time. Who knows?

As for which day is best, that is harder to answer and would depend on the market you are trying to reach. For some items, the best day to "grab" bidders by the pocketbooks would be the day that Social Security checks are received. For others, it would be the day that stock dividends are paid. You see, it isn't easy trying to narrow the best date and times down. eBay, like the Internet itself, is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Practically any time or date is ideal for selling your item. Experiment and see what works best for you and your items.

Regards, Uncle Griff

Dear Uncle Griff,

I am a collector of vintage marbles. I find that the best place to buy and sell these marbles is here on eBay. However, I also see a very large number of listings where people are selling newer marbles and posting very misleading descriptions, ones that make you think that the marbles are vintage. Something must be done!

Thanks, Typoagain

Hello Tyoagain,

Yes. We agree. Something must be done. Here is what it is:

Bidders who find that a seller is misrepresenting his or her items should immediately post appropriate feedback for that seller (if email requests for refunds are not honored). That way, the rest of the eBay community will know that the seller is not completely honest in his or her descriptions.

This will either:
1. Cause the seller to think twice about misrepresenting items and maybe, just maybe, the seller will turn over a new leaf and begin to build a better reputation. Or, should the seller be unrepentant...
2. Hasten the seller's exit from eBay once enough disgruntled bidders choose to leave appropriate feedback for the seller.

Regards, Uncle Griff

Hi Unc,

I've been thinking about selling on eBay but don't really know how (I could just be scared). I think I know most everything, except the part about adding pictures. Any info or shortcuts you could give would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, Jerry

Hello Jer,

Don't be scared. It's only an auction site, not a root canal. Like so many things, the first time is the hardest. (Uncle remembers the first time he tried to fit into a size 6. Now THAT was scary. Where were we?...)

Uncle is not going to sugar coat this one for you. Placing an image on your auction is a bit daunting if you have not done it before, but stick with Uncle and he will get you through it with colors flying. Here we go...

First, you need a digital camera or a scanner... or is it a scanner or a digital camera? Then you need to get some space on a Web server... or is that serve some space on a Web spacer? Oh heck. Uncle is going to direct you to the place that says it all better than he ever could do:

That is the address for our Photo Tutorial. Read through it carefully and you will, in no time flat, be a super photo wiz. Uncle guarantees it!

Regards, Uncle Griff

Dahling Aunt Flossie,

Someone recently won my auction for a 6-carat diamond (Reginald says he'll buy me a larger one), and a vase from the Ming Dynasty (an unwanted gift from my 5th husband, Osgood). I want to send the winning bidder the items today, but I ran out of newspaper and packing peanuts. What can I use as an alternative source of packing material?

Fondly, Marries Well

Dear Marries Well,

This advice would not be for everyone, but Aunt Flossie thinks you, dear, deserve a special answer to your dilemma.

Paper money works well to insulate the items you have described. You can even use different denominations for each of your items. You might want to wrap a few fifty dollar bills around the diamond, and stuff the hundred dollar bills inside the vase. Toss PLENTY of those pesky little one dollar bills in your packing box and... voila! You're done!

Toodaloo, Aunt Flossie

Dear Aunt Flossie,

I collect circus clowns, but my wife says I have so many that I am starting to look like a few of them. Now, I think my clowns are very cute, so I am taking this as a compliment. But I don't think she meant it that way. What should I do?

-- Clowning Around

Dear Clowning Around,

Aunt Flossie wonders what kind of a Bozo would call you a clown? Perhaps a jealous one? Aunt Flossie thinks you should take the little woman out for a night on the town so that she can forget how much attention you pay to your clowns instead of to her. Perhaps dinner and then an evening at the circus might do the trick!