Colin Rule has more than 15 years of experience as a mediator and facilitator, including a stint as an Adjunct Professor at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, where he taught and researched dispute resolution. He also wrote Online Dispute Resolution for Business, one of the first books to examine how buyers and sellers can best resolve their problems online. 

Disputes are distracting
It's not fun to get caught up in an eBay dispute. I've seen some doozies over the years. A dispute can really get under your fingernails, to the point where it's hard to think about anything else. It can really bring out the worst in people. I've had some people tell me I must have the worst job at eBay, because I spend all day talking to people who are angry. But the misery of being embroiled in a dispute is matched by the immense relief of resolving it and putting it all to bed. When you feel like you achieved a fair outcome to a difficult problem, it can be very satisfying.

Maybe it's because disputes can be so unpleasant that it's hard to get people to focus on plans for resolving them. It's human nature to pretend that you're never going to have a problem. In that sense, dispute resolution is kind of like the dentist's office. Nobody thinks about the dentist's office on a daily basis and gets excited about it, except maybe dentists themselves. But if you get a toothache, boy, all you can think about is the dentist's office. That's the only place you want to go. Same goes for dispute resolution.

When things are going well and you're selling your items on eBay like gangbusters, who cares about transaction problems? But when one crops up and escalates into a messy situation, it can take an inordinate amount of time and energy to deal with it. Every second you have to spend on responding to the problem just adds to the frustration, because it's cutting into your selling time, and you know it's not making you a cent. Anyone who has gone through that even once knows the value of avoiding disputes in the first place.

Be proactive – create a Resolution Plan
Most people think about resolving problems only after the problem arises. My opinion is that the best time to resolve a problem is before it even emerges. One minute of proactive work to avoid a problem is worth one hour of reactive work to deal with a problem that's already reared its ugly head.

My advice is to sit down and write a very specific Resolution Plan for how you will both a) work to avoid problems and b) deal with them when they do come up. For instance, include in the Resolution Plan a specific number of email contacts, phone calls, and waiting periods you'll engage in with your transaction partner before filing an Unpaid Item dispute. Craft the messages you'll send to your buyers in advance, before you get sucked into the emotions of a dispute. Then clearly indicate your resolution process in your listings.

Some sellers argue that talking too much about transaction problems will scare buyers off, because they'll think that a seller has a lot of disputes. In my experience, though, buyers appreciate the clarity, because it lets them see that the seller is committed to fairness, and that the seller takes their responsibilities seriously.

It's important to note that avoiding problems isn't about stacking the deck in your favor with a bunch of unreasonable terms. (Like payment must be received within 12 hours after the listing ends, but you have 14 days to ship the item). You may, in fact, steer buyers away with such terms and conditions. Instead, be fair, be reasonable, and communicate clearly your commitment to living up to your obligations and ensuring the buyer is satisfied with their purchase.

I think it also gives your actions additional legitimacy if they are detailed upfront in the listing. It's much harder for a buyer to complain about a particular policy when it's detailed right there in a listing that the buyer bid on of their own accord. Also, when the buyer has a question, their first instinct is usually to go back to the listing to see if it's answered there, as part of the item description or terms of sale. In fact, most of eBay's educational messaging directs buyers to the information sellers have provided in their listings. So if you have already anticipated and answered many of the main questions upfront, you may avoid annoying emails from your buyers asking simple questions, which can waste time you might otherwise spend listing more items.

Stay focused on the two goals of dispute resolution
Sometimes sellers write emails to their buyers in the heat of the moment, and they later regret that they took the tone they did. Composing a response right after receiving a snotty or threatening email from a buyer is often not the best idea. You need to remember that the two primary goals in dealing with your buyers are to complete the transaction and preserve your reputation. Telling someone off is likely to move you farther away from both of those goals. If you instead compose your messages in advance, and even hard-code them in to your process through third party tools then you'll maximize your chance of getting what you want, which is a successful payment and positive feedback.

It's pretty easy to compose emails that can achieve these goals when you're not involved in a dispute. Also, you can get language that works from other sellers, from the discussion boards, or from eBay, and re-use and edit it to meet your needs. But when you get into a dispute and the other side is coming at you, wasting your time, and being unreasonable, writing an email that maintains a professional tone and urges the other party to complete their side of the transaction can be extremely difficult. That's why advance planning can be so helpful.

Regularly review your post-transaction process
Many sellers put a lot of thought into their post-transaction process when they first start selling on eBay, but then don't revisit it to make changes every so often once they get going. They pretty much stick with what they started out using. I can understand that strategy, because there's no sense in changing something that isn't broken. But I think the ultimate goal is to learn from the transactions you engage in over time. If you look at the listings of experienced sellers you'll often see comprehensive details in their terms, return policies, and guarantees. That wisdom is hard won, and sellers can often show you the scars of the battles that led them to put in certain clauses or policies in their terms of sale.

Look for terms and conditions used by other sellers you respect and emulate the clauses that you think are applicable to your own listings. Be as clear and explicit as possible. It's a good idea to think through your post-transaction process from the perspective of a user. Even better, review your emails in the order they're sent out to your buyers. Does everything make sense? Do all the links and email addresses referred to in your messages still work? You might even ask a handful of your buyers for feedback on the transaction process to ensure it's all flowing smoothly.

Make sure all your emails pass the grandma test. If your grandma were going through the process, would she understand it? I often use that one when I'm designing processes for the eBay site, and let me tell you – that's a tough standard of quality to meet!

It's never fun to run into a transaction problem. But with a little prior planning, you can avoid most problems, and resolve the ones that do crop up more quickly and effectively. It's an approach which will preserve your reputation and help you devote most of your energy to what you do best – your business.