by Maeve
eBay Staff Member

Looking for a little humor or inspiration to enliven your day? You need only read eBay members' personalized Signature Files on their discussion board posts. These creative, whimsical, and even profound signature files will give you a welcome break in your busy day – whether by making you ponder or laugh out loud. Filled with sage bits of wisdom and sometimes hilarious perceptions, these small bytes provide a running commentary on the character of our discussion boards (and the characters who regularly post there).

We introduced signature files just about a year ago as a means for members to say something unique about themselves. Based on the old adage that "less is more," the taglines are limited to 500 characters. Despite this limit, it's amazing what can be said with just a few words. From the philosophical, ("Life is a journey. Live it well.") to the silly ("Save the Earth...it's the only planet with chocolate,") signature files are a whole new way of stamping your personality on your board posts.

As you enjoy the selection of interesting signature files we've picked out for you, here are a few guidelines to remember while creating your own:

• Material contained within signature files must not violate eBay's Discussion Boards Usage Policy.
• All images found in a signature may not exceed a total area of 50 pixels by 220 pixels
• Signatures may not contain any active code, scripts, CSS, JS, mouseovers, midi files, tracking mechanisms, cookies, or any type of code other than plain HTML.
• Signatures must be static. They may not blink, move, fade, or change in any way.
• Signatures may contain no more than one link. This link must be to a page located on the eBay website.
• Members may link to any eBay page (meaning the link opens a page located on the eBay website, with an ebay.com Web address) within their signature, including to their Seller's list, their eBay Store, eBay search results for selling events, or their eBay Group.

And now, here's a selection of some memorable signature files that we've seen. Some have made us chuckle, and others have given us pause for thought. We hope you enjoy them as much as we do.

The Animal and Plant Kingdoms

• Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have.
• Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield.
• If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on my dog!
• The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on.
• I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.
• God gave us dogs so we would understand what He meant by love, and gave us cats so we could learn what He meant about serving others.
• Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
• Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.
• When the chips are down, the buffalo's empty.
• Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
• I strive to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am
• Every mighty oak was once a nut that stood its ground.

Technology

• hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
• Error message: Like, dude, something went wrong.
• W¶Åt fûññÿ §ÿmßõ£§ ¿¿¿ --
• I have a photographic memory. Wish I had film.
• If I buy the steel wool will you knit me a Porsche?
• "Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!"

The Joy of Children

• Motherhood: Changing Society One Diaper At A Time
• I love giving homemade gifts...which one of my children would you like?
• Boy: a noise with dirt on it.
• It's not hot flashes. It's my inner child playing with matches.
• Lisa: Let's put it on the internet!
  Bart: No. We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter.

Everybody's a (mad) scientist

• You can never have too much infinity.
• There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
• Just what size does a Freudian slip come in anyway?
• A revolving lithic conglomerate accrues no lichen.
• Remember, half the people you know are below average
• "Cogito ergo spud" ~ I think, therefore I yam.
• I reject your reality, and substitute my own.
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
• Clairvoyant meeting cancelled due to unforeseen events.
• With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this isn't necessarily a good idea. It's hard to predict where they are going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting underneath them as they sail overhead.
• If you never go off on a tangent, you're doomed to go in circles.
• 98% of all statistics disprove the other 98%.
• Support your local medical examiner: die strangely.
• Aibohphobia: the irrational fear of palindromes.
• Mind...Mind...let's see, I had one of those around here.

Just when you thought you had all the answers…

• What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?
• If "ignorance is bliss" then why aren't more people happy?

Money makes the world go round

• My gas tank goes from zero to $30 in under a minute.
• A miser is hard to live with but makes a fine ancestor.
• Thanks to the Internet, you can get hopelessly in debt without ever leaving your house.
• I'm too old to be bothered, and too cheap to pay.

The incredibly profound

• I started out with nothing. I have most of it left.
• You can expect all you want, but you may not get it.
• I'm searching for myself. Anyone seen me lately?
• Specializing in totally featureless glass.

All about me

• I don't wake up grouchy; I let him sleep.
• I've been surrounded by canvas my whole life but that doesn't make me a tent.
• I have a speech impediment...my foot!
• I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on
• ...Because I'm older and I've got more insurance, that's why...
• I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.
• Of course I'm on topic... Which newsgroup is this anyway?
• I know karate, kung-fu, and ju jitsu and 3 other dangerous Japanese words
• If you like me, tell your friends. If your friends like me, get new friends
• While you were reading this, I just took control of your mind for 30 seconds.

Epigrams Oscar Wilde would have been envious of

• Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.
• Opinions are like Bubble Wrap – We all like the sound of POP.
• Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
• One man's ceiling is another man's floor.
• Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
• No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent
• It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• An unemployed court jester is nobody's fool.
• If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
• Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you cannot help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs!
• The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
• Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

Just add a greeting card with a picture of a sunset

• We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
• Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
• A little kindness goes a long way and never hurt anyone.
• No Day Is Over If It Makes a Memory
• When a thought takes one's breath away, a lesson on grammar seems an impertinence.
• he trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
• believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
• Every item has a story. Memory is the language spoken.

Defies classification

• Ladies Sewing Circle and Terrorist Society
• Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun
• Canadians have a word for sushi. They call it "bait."

Ecclesiastical

• Bless me, Father, for I have committed an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon.