Colin Rule has more than 15 years of experience as a mediator and facilitator, including a stint as an Adjunct Professor at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, where he taught and researched dispute resolution. He also wrote Online Dispute Resolution for Business, one of the first books to examine how buyers and sellers can best resolve their problems online. 

A few columns ago I put in a little note asking for eBay members to email me about their transaction problems and how they handled them, both the ones that went well and the ones that didn't go well. As soon as my article went live, the emails started pouring in. I tried to keep up, and I was able to do it for a couple days, but soon I went under the waves of the hundreds and hundreds of emails I was receiving. I also quickly learned that any response from me usually triggered even more messages from the original sender, so it just added to the incoming volume. It was my first experience of “drinking from the fire hose,” as they say, and it was truly humbling. The guys in eBay's Customer Support have always had my respect, but after this experience I'm truly in awe of what they're confronted with on a daily basis.

So let me begin by apologizing to the many members out there who emailed me in response to my request but who never heard back. I forwarded a good number of the emails I couldn't respond to on to Customer Support, especially when the case looked like it merited a relatively rapid response. And while I wasn't able to get back to everyone who sent me a note, I was able to read every message I received, and it was extremely educational. I wanted to take the chance this month to share some of the things I heard in the emails I received, and to pass along a few stories I thought were particularly interesting.

Using the telephone to solve transaction problems
Many of the folks who emailed me after reading my article Using the Telephone to Solve Transaction Problems commented on the apparent contradiction between my advice and eBay's Customer Support policies regarding the telephone. Many emails focused on the fact that, while I was encouraging eBay members to use the phone to resolve their issues, eBay does not provide a phone number where members can call in to communicate their concerns.

I can absolutely understand this point, and it's definitely not the first time I've heard it. While eBay does provide Live Chat, there isn't currently a publicly accessible phone number for general members to call (though PowerSellers and sellers with an eBay Store do have phone access, and Customer Support does use the phone proactively quite a bit). PayPal has a phone number on their site, and as a result there's hundreds and hundreds of customer service representatives answering the phone calls coming in on that line.

Because of eBay's size (eBay now has more registered members than the nation of Russia has citizens!) the task of answering all the phone calls the Community could generate would be staggering. There's almost no parallel out there that comes close to the scale of eBay's customer support challenges, and it's growing at an incredible clip. My brief experience under this waterfall of emails has demonstrated in a very personal way how overwhelming this challenge can be.

All that said, within eBay there's a real acknowledgement of the Community's desire to have a voice channel for working out problems. The contradictions in my column notwithstanding, this is something executives are well aware of, and it's my understanding that it's actively under discussion in the highest levels of the company. I think the acquisition of Skype opens up some interesting possibilities along those lines as well. So the point is very well taken, and I want to acknowledge it up front.

"Using the telephone is a great idea"
Some eBay members wholeheartedly agreed with my column that the phone is a great tool for eBay buyers and sellers to work out their problems.

eBay member baberuthp said: “I just read your article about mediation using the phone, and I completely agree. There is something about hearing the other person's voice and them hearing yours that gets lost in email and text messages. That's why I list my phone number prominently in all my listings, and I've gotten calls just to check I am for real and that I will be able to offer support during and after the sale. This has made many sales, even when other sellers have Buy It Now prices a few dollars lower.”

Member hollowlog agreed. “I've often used the phone for a couple reasons. Sometimes it is difficult to describe or convey the damage reported by your buyer or you in an email… negotiations go very quickly over the phone and trust is established.”

thefrenchybee added, “I have found that being accessible by telephone adds a layer of credibility as a seller and has always been a positive experience whether I am contacting a buyer or they are contacting me. My phone number is included in all correspondence. I welcome calls, as they not only have proven more effective in problem solving and answering questions, but often cements a relationship that results in repeat sales. My advice—don't fear the phone, it's good for business!”

Finally, one member wrote: “Just took your advice and rang my buyer to sort out an issue immediately. Fantastic idea, will do it often! My call was well received (even though she was quite surprised!) and the problem sorted out on the spot! Thanks so much.”

"Using the telephone is a terrible idea"
In contrast, some members strongly disagreed with my advice.

One member wrote: “I think your advice to use the telephone to discuss disputes is all wrong! You and I both know that people will say things over the phone that they will not say in person or even in an email. Also, I want a record of all my correspondence in writing, preferably through the eBay message system and I think it's obvious why a person would want that. So again, I say that handling disputes over the phone is not the way it should be done, and I would think that a person with your credentials would have to agree with me. I also think you should print a retraction for your bad advice.”

Another member raised an excellent point that I admit I had not considered: “How can you go about giving such horrible advice? The reason eBay works so well is because people do not have to use the phone or interact with customers except through email. This offers the handicapped a way to sell their items online without dealing with the frustrations normally associated with selling. I am three-fourths deaf and have been selling online since 1998. One of the joys of selling online is that I DO NOT have to take phone calls! Now with your ill-conceived advice, buyers are going to think it is OK to call! It is not OK to have people calling me! Many people will also consider your advice as encouraging invasion of privacy, or that they have the right to call and harass legitimate businesses. This is an extremely offensive article and should be removed immediately! When giving out advice you should consider that not everyone is just like you.”

Several members noted the problem of incorrect contact information. minpin_daisy wrote:
“I tried to settle {my transaction problem} beforehand with a simple phone call. However, the seller I tried to contact no longer used the phone number that eBay had on file.”

Another problem with the phone is the expense of making the call, especially for low dollar value items or international transactions. abaldguycreation wrote: “…my problem with this is that most of my transactions are for small dollar amounts; if I'm the aggrieved buyer I'll have to pay for a long-distance phone call that may solve nothing—so I've doubled my loss with the method. Even if I'm the aggrieved seller, considering the cost of the call plus such a low profit/high-fee ratio, even if the problem is solved I'll probably lose money on the transaction.”

Also, there is the issue of time zones. notdot2 wrote: “You neglected to mention that since we often trade with folks who are outside of our time zone, it would be prudent to be sensitive to that fact when calling a trading partner. If I called at 8 p.m. from California for instance, I am less likely to be welcome in Maine, where it is 11 p.m. Calls for international transactions could be even more awkward.”

So what have I learned from all this? Well, number one, every eBay member is different, and as such, no one solution works for everyone. Broad advice and tips, such as the information usually presented in this column, may be helpful in one situation and useless in another. Every tip you hear about transacting on eBay should be evaluated in your particular circumstance, and even if something works for you, you shouldn't presume it works equally well for your transaction partners.

A few other interesting stories
There were several other emails and stories that I thought were worth sharing.

eBay member madean sent an anguished email that read, in part: “…When the listing ended, I made payment via PayPal like I have done many times before. I sent a couple of emails to the seller, but received no communication from him at all. I know it's only one week tomorrow since the sale was completed, but ground shipping should only take two days at best. What should I do, or, how long should I wait before disputing the payment with PayPal?”

The very next email I received was also from madean. It said: “Not five minutes after I sent you the first email, I got a response from the seller. He shipped the item today. Sorry for the trouble.”

While madean's situation might not be representative, it's a good illustration of how transaction anxiety can turn into relief very quickly on eBay.

thislittlepiggy107 wrote: “I have a transaction right now with someone in Italy. His feedback is good but he hadn't answered any emails or responded to my invoice. I finally emailed him and said that I knew something must have happened, maybe a family emergency or something. I knew he would not jeopardize his good feedback rating over a small item like this. I would wait to hear from him and hoped everything was O.K. He responded the next day, and yes, something was going on and he would pay me as soon as he could. I told him not to worry, I would wait until he could attend to this, not to worry about it at all. I'm sure everything will finally work out when he gets everything in order. Just communicating put us both as ease…”

captskip9 offered a creative proactive solution to a fraudulent misrepresentation claim: “I was new to eBay and I had a great historical photo to sell. So I listed it and the final price was $153. I put it in a special shipping flat, but at the last minute I put my initials in invisible fluorescent ink on the back. The buyer claimed that the photo was a repro and I requested it be returned and refunded the account. The photo I got back was a repro but without my initials. I checked my options with the USPS, and sent a registered letter to request the return of my photo original. The buyer returned my property.”

Liza wrote: “I had bid and won an item—punch bowl with cups—and the seller shipped with FedEx. For some reason local FedEx 'couldn't find my address.‘ They must have done a city look-up, because the item ended up being delivered way across town. Meanwhile the seller and I communicated through email. She sent me the tracking number, went to her local FedEx office (in the next town!), and we kept each other posted, both looking up the tracking details. I had great communications with her, and we exchanged laughs and frustrations over the delivery failure. 

Finally my sister looked up the address where FedEx had delivered the item. As she works on that side of town, she went to the house, and they gave her the punch bowl. The situation had a happy ending, and I got a lot of support from the seller. She even mailed me a small gift (a dinner bell) to make up for all my trouble. She was just awesome - proving the people factor and human to human communication is what makes things work!”

Finally, 103scarlett wrote with a sentiment I couldn't put better myself: “As a general rule I treat people as I would like to be treated and honesty is always the best policy. Grace and dignity get you a lot further than anger and a bad attitude.”