You Know You’re an eBay Seller When…
by Maeve
eBay Staff Member

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people”, said the well-known entertainer Victor Borge. The wit and wisdom of the eBay Community has proved the truth of this statement again and again. Nothing seems to build a closer bond between people than shared laughter. This is especially true on eBay's discussion and chat boards. This month I visited the Seller Central discussion board and found a most amusing thread. Between answering members' questions and helping other sellers achieve success on eBay, the participants on this thread provided humorous insights into their eBay lives.

We could almost hear the roars of laughter as members shared their gems of wisdom on the theme: “You know you're an eBay seller when...” Here are some of their comments. I hope that you enjoy their comments as much as we do. Laughter is always the best medicine.

You know you're an eBay seller when...

"You do the happy dance over a box of free bubble wrap you manage to snatch when you're mall walking at closing time.

"You go to sign a check and you start to sign it with your eBay User ID."
claudeandfluffy

"Every time something comes up missing in the house your husband and kids accuse you of selling it on eBay. NO, I did not sell the waffle maker on eBay! NO, I did not sell your lucky shirt on eBay! I have NO idea where the dog is! Why are you looking at me like that?!?

"You go over to someone's house and catch yourself figuring out how much their stuff would sell for on eBay.

"You actually buy something for yourself and just can't stop yourself from selling it on eBay. Even though you really want to keep it."
chrystal25

"You find it impossible to drive by an interesting looking pile of junk someone has put out as trash, even if you are wearing your best suit.

"You've asked your neighbors and friends not to throw anything away without showing it to you first."
lazaruslong12

"You want to leave positive feedback for the guy at Taco Bell when he gets your order out fast."
aprile612

"Your UPS driver recognizes you on the street and the local USPS clerks know more about your personal life than your family does."
wmv-feller

"Your mail carrier starts bringing stuff with her in her truck to ask you if it would be worth anything on eBay.

"You start taking reference books with you into the bathroom instead of this week's National Enquirer.

"You're watching an old movie and stop paying attention to the dialog because you're too busy looking at all the cool stuff on the set (and wishing you had it all to list on eBay)."
carpe_i.diem

"You can spot a perfect box for that hard to ship widget while doing 50 m.p.h on a freeway off-ramp."
chopt49

"You have a 'reserved' parking spot at the post office."
dolphin9987

"You tell your three-year old to go clean her room and she tells you to go do your eBay.

"Your work clothes and your pajamas are now one and the same."
knb_supply

"You have your Postmaster's home phone number.

"Your Postmaster gives you homemade brownies with a hand written 'thank you' note for your business at Christmas, because your packages are 25% of their yearly total.

"Your favorite postal clerk always has all the priority tape you want, on the side in a plain brown paper bag.

"You buy a watch that keeps time in two time zones, and set the other to eBay time."
beadmistress

"You realize you have forgotten someone's birthday and start rummaging through your 'didn't sell' stuff for a last minute gift."
mags3ejo

"Your two cars are parked in front of your two car garage."
jhuze

"You're in a regular type mall (what's that?) with your spouse and everything you see you want. And you blurt out – ‘Buy It Now!'"
lameman_scott

"The bank teller at the drive-through window asks you over the microphone if you will sell her wedding dress for her, and then tells you to come on in because she has it with her."
pinksunshine8888

"Your mom, who happens to live next door to you, contacts you through the 'Ask seller a question' function rather than by phone cause she knows she will get through to you faster that way.

"You petition the Social Security Administration to legally change your name to your eBay seller ID.

"Your child's teacher sends home report cards with all A+ 's and you send her a reply saying 'Thanks for the great transaction, enjoy your student.'

"You actually time yourself and try and beat your packaging wrapping record each time."
dont_mess_with_my_rights

"You already know by heart what your old toys are worth!"
sablemerlecollie

"Your boss asks you to see if you can find him a Deer Head, and you DO it!!"
ajinpa

"Your mom calls you from a parking lot on her cell phone and says 'I know you're probably on eBay anyway, so would you bid on this for me?'

"You approach a dumpster in your minivan and your two teenage daughters duck down and say, 'Mom, no!'"
crystalrose34

"Your nights off coincide with eBay and PayPal System Maintenance."
beadinmama

"Your hubby wants to get a tattoo of eBay on his body so you'll pay more attention to him.

"You know what state a person is from by their ZIP code and can estimate what the shipping cost will be."
nascar_how_bad_have_u_got_it

"20 guests who come for Thanksgiving dinner begin loading your garage with their empty boxes, styrofoam, and bubble wrap, before bringing in their holiday dish to pass."
antiquenina

"When buying a new home, you look for one that has an eBay room, lots of storage and a loading dock."
precious-books

"You have your mom's favorite perfume listed. She mentions how much she would like it, so you tell her she is going to have to bid on it like everyone else."
mynameforposting

"You don't ask your husband for jewelry, clothes, or romantic getaways for your Christmas gift. Instead you ask for a postage scale!"
gift.fig

"You are watching TV and an eBay commercial comes on. You tell everyone in the room that that's the company you work for."
footballfanatic4life

"You realize that you just sold the very item that brought you looking on eBay in the first place."
bluegriffinstudio